Utmost Music

11th March 2012

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My Life Testimony

I used to live a life trying to prove myself worthy of my God. 

When I was given a considerable position in the church and in 

school, I struggled with the pride in life. Yes, I was knowledgeable

 enough in the teaching of the Bible. I did led cell groups. I did became

 effective in worship leading (through singing and accompanying) 

yet there was something wrong in my character. I didn’t bother to care 

if I was led in discipleship or not. I despised my church friends when they 

mingled around with each other. I wanted to lead yet I didn’t want to follow.

On the first week of June 2011, I ran away from my previous church. I 

collected hurts and gave in to the enemy’s deceptions. Within about 5 

months, I lived a life of rebellion and arrogance. For more than 5 months, 

I tried to prove to myself, to the people around and even to God that I can 

still be praising Him, serving Him and still have a wonderful relationship with 

Him even without anyone’s help. I covered my ears so that I cannot hear 

anyone’s advices. Later on I realized that it was God whom I have closed my ears to.

I was at desert for months as I looked for home. I “church hopped.” Desperate 

for a long time, I thought it would never be possible to open my heart to the 

Lord again. I believed it would take a miracle. I knew my heart was calloused 

and would always doubt God’s work in my life↲One evening, while I was in 

worship at one Christian gathering, God invited me to a Church (the Church 

where I am growing right now). That did hurt, knowing I have to let go of 

what I wanted at that time. All the more I just can’t resist Him speaking to 

me, saying, “If you really want to experience freedom, meaningfulness and 

growth, you have to let go of what you want, obey Me and do what you know 

you need to do.” I knew that that was what my soul was yearning. I knew 

I needed to change. I wanted to change. I knew I needed to witness a 

miracle happen in my life.

When I knew that there was an Encounter Weekend scheduled January 20-22, 2012 

at Prayer Mountain, Bago City, I knew that God was like saying, ”Dear Job, this is what

 you’ve prayed for all these times!” I was excited as never before. I knew that I will be meeting

 with people which I haven’t met before. Nevertheless, by His work, that didn’t seem to

 matter anymore. I was excited to encounter God so I opened my life to the church family.

When Encounter Weekend came, I continued to open my heart and received 

as much as I can (looking back, I now acknowledge that this was only because

 of Him). When I sat inside the bus heading back to Bacolod, I thought to 

myself that now I can truly say that I will never be the same again.

My Perfect Father welcomed ne back home and told me that amidst of 

everything that was said of me, what only mattered was what He thought of

 me. He loved me and will always do. He created me and I am very precious 

in His sight.

Jesus healed me from my stubbornness and selfishness. I was empowered

 and enabled by His Spirit to do what I truly need to do: obey the Lord.

Now here I am, enjoying the life my God has given to me. Now I can say that

 there is no better life on earth than being with Him and following Him. I was released 

from my hurts and was taught how to love even if circumstances fail the 

mood of doing so.

So this is my conclusion. C.G. Spurgeon puts it this way: ”Personal pride is 

the greatest barrier to spiritual wisdom.” I agree that maturity depends 

on character. As one puts it, ”When we can’t hear God effectively, we’ve

 got to check the sound system of our hearts.”

So friends, obey. Open your hearts and don’t forget that your character does matter.

God bless us all!

30th November 2011

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Long Lost Journal

This is from a paper I’ve written which I’ve found clipped on my journal notebook. This was written quite a long time ago. May it be that in some way this will bless your heart and remind us all of what we have learned. 

Passage: Job 40

Summary:

After Job’s complaint/case, God answers him through the storm and said, “Job, quiet down and listen. I am God, and I am under control. You may think that I am being unjust but I am not. Do not turn away from Me because you think I’m being unjust or that because since you’ve been a Christian, all the attacks and pressures are on you. I am just. Look at the Behemoth. It’s the strongest being you have ever known in this world, but I can approach it, I can tame it. Be like it, Job. I did not allow these calamities because you were detestable in My sight, but that I’m very pleased with you. You bore much fruit for Me, and so I want to prune you so that you would even grow and bear more fruit. Just cling on to Me, obey My commands, go to where I want you to be, be soaked by My love. I am going to use you mightily. You are victorious. Along the way, there will be much trials, and they will be zealous to pull you down. But keep on moving, Job. I’m sovereign. You are a soul-winner. You are My love.

5th November 2011

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The Father’s Love

November 06, 2011

Jobert Chong

12:00 noon

This is what I have pondered on yesterday, after I have done something that violated my integrity.

Right at that moment of sin, I realized that I have fooled myself and have isolated myself from God. Then I remembered what I had been into this mid-school year’s vacation. I have posted my songs, served and blessed others, told others about the goodness of God, but I am here found in the grip of sin.

I was filled with regret, and I couldn’t even bear to keep talking about God for a moment. Talking about God (while knowing I’m guilty of sin, unsettled and ashamed before Him), I thought, would even add up more guilt on me, as this is hypocrisy.

I stopped texting and sat in front of the piano, troubled, not knowing what to do. I have piano lessons scheduled after 3 hours from then, but I have determined to myself that I should finish memorizing one last piece before lessons start. I knew as well that after piano lessons, I would be heading straight to our store.

In my soul I can feel myself groaning, “Lord, forgive me!”, but I know that’s never enough to take away this guilt that has kept me blaming myself and kept me feeling ashamed to persist on serving God. Why do I have to wait till it’s late in the evening to come before God and confess my sins to Him, to sing to Him? I was becoming impatient. I was hindered to live life with that sense of joy and freedom because of this guilt playing around me.

By His grace and mercy, I sensed God in His still small voice telling me in my heart that right there and then at that moment when I “beat my head”, “thrown myself against the door”, “groaned”, He saw that. He saw what was going on around my heart, how it “quaked”, how it “broke.” He assured me that at that very moment, He already forgave me, just as the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son waited and hoped patiently for his son to return home.

+++++++++++++++

We don’t come to God privately and ask for His forgiveness as if we have to beg Him to. He already forgave you the moment you decide to come before Him and ask for forgiveness. We come to God and ask for forgiveness not because He needs to be persuaded, but because we want to remember that He is our ever-loving Father, and no sin can ever go beyond His forgiveness. We come before God to remember that He has called us His child. It’s a daily practice where we remind ourselves of our relationship with God, that He loves us and will never forsake us.

Let us remember, though, that forgiveness takes place only when we are “broken” and honestly “bow down our heads” and “raise our hands” and say, “Yes, Lord, I have sinned. Please forgive me.”

May this grant us confidence to come before God today and ask for His forgiveness for the things we have done wrong, and remember that He loves us and will always will. God promised us never to leave nor forsake us. He is our Father, and we are His children.

God loves you!